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Growing up, I remember wanting to learn how to be social. I was shy, but I wanted to engage with people, be seen and be heard, and have good manners, to boot.

So I started reading Emily Post, who was basically the bible of good manners at that time, and then later moved on to Judith Martin’s column called “Miss Manners” in the late 1970s. Any questions I had on etiquette—how to write a thank-you letter, how to be a courteous guest—I would do my best to follow their lead. When I found myself thinking about networking and the next blog I would write, I realized there are a few things that matter most to me when meeting new people. First and foremost, I believe all people deserve respect. It’s one of my core values, and it’s why I care so much about good manners—all those guides to good manners took the lead from a belief in respect for others.

Years later, and my manners have served me well. I’ve grown, and I’ve learned how to engage more meaningfully with people in social situations. One of my biggest takeaways is that a gracious, interested conversationalist always has a step up in social situations. I strive to engage in that way. My my beliefs come from within, I still seek advice from other sources. My own personal development has been boosted by the leadership work I do at the Wright Foundation, which I credit for helping me better engage with others, be myself when I approach new people and be curious about those that I meet.

I’m still trying to learn to be as gracious as I can be, so I’m always thrilled to hear about tips on engagement and manners from other networking aficionados. Here are a few tips I enjoyed about being gracious from around the Web:

Three Gracious Networking “Do’s”

1. Make a point to say goodbye. 
agree with what Tamsin Lejeune, founder of Ethical Fashion Forum, told Marie Claire Magazine: “Making as much as an effort with your ‘goodbye’ as with your ‘hello,’ means people remember you for all the right reasons. It’s also a great way to show that you’ve valued speaking to them…”

For starters, it’s good manners, and it’s another way to acknowledge the people that you met. Saying “goodbye” is a bigger a deal than most people realize. I also call it classy.

2. Be generous. I loved what former presidential advisor Christine Comaford had to say about networking. “I do a lot of favors for people, because I believe in ‘palm-up’ networking,” Comaford told Tim Ferris, which she describes as a “networking to give” philosophy. Networking is about offering what you can do for people, not first asking what people can do for you.

3. Embrace learning opportunities. It’s important to remember that most people, when asked, want to help others. That’s why I liked what Mindy Lockard wrote in a blog post called The Gracious Girl’s Guide to Networking:

“Some of the best networking happens because we ask others to teach us. So often we think that by networking, we have to sell ourselves as the experts. But let’s be honest, there is very little humility in that.”

None of us are going to be experts in everything, so why should we be afraid to ask for help or advice? You never know what lengths someone will go to help you. It’s assuming others want to help and have good will for you.

Once the conference is over, the booths packed away, what’s next? It’s time to follow up with the people you met and the contacts you collected.

Banks and FinTech firms often like to talk about the latest products, platform, app, and everything they do. Don’t do it. Business executives really don’t care.

Instead, make your follow-up personal: include links to stories related to what you learned at the show about the industry and its future. You’ll find those stories in the conversations you had and presentations you heard at the conferences.

Here’s how one company strategically used content from its event in its ongoing marketing. To build a reputation as a go-to source of FinTech knowledge in wealth management, Morningstar:

• Commissioned us to write a follow-up article on one of its FinTech forums to summarize the key points on how FinTech delivers value.
• Hired a videographer to produce a story on the event experience, from the street in Lower Manhattan up to the Morningstar’s World Trade Center 4 offices, where the event took place.
• Included interviews with panelists and attendees to provide further insights.
• Posted the event coverage on social media and asked panelists to share it.

Take a look at the result: Morningstar FinTech Forum video

Get a marketing boost from your conference or event. Call Collin Canright at (773) 426-7000 or email him at collin@canrightcommunications.com.

“The music is not in the piano.”

I once saw this quote by Clement Mok on a poster and have never forgotten its message, particularly when I see speakers giving presentations with highly bulleted PowerPoint slides. Know what I’m talking about? Slides with graphics pulled from the web with list upon list of bullet points and text galore. The speaker sure gets through each and every point, but often loses the audience early on. The focus of the talk from the speaker’s perspective becomes the slides rather than the speaker’s message. And that core message has to work that much harder to get through.

The slide portion of your presentation can be a powerful instrument, like the piano, and can actually be a great partner: reaching your audience, compelling them to pay attention. Here are three key things I remember when creating slides for presentations we do with our clients:

1. Simplicity always, always trumps complexity in a talk. Simplicity is a key element in doing an effective and compelling presentation. This does not mean simple. A well-designed slide is one that has clarity—the arrangement is well thought out, words are pared down to their essence, and concepts are prioritized. At the same time, the presenter fills in relevant information—often with a story from his or her own experience. The content becomes personal and grounded in the speaker’s experience. That way, the audience can connect and relate more authentically with the speaker.

2. Know precisely what you want your audience to take away. Keeping it simple, with just two to three points you want to be remembered, also serves another purpose: You increase the odds that your audience will remember what you said. According to Garr Reynolds, author of Presentation Zen, “There is simply a limit to a person’s ability to process new information efficiently and effectively.” When you have too much information, your audience has to cope with what Garr calls “excessive cognitive strain,” and your message, even though it may be a good one, gets lost in the clutter of too much information. Have two to three concepts or take-aways you want them to remember. The clearer you are, the more likely you and your message will be remembered.

3. Spend the time to make it yours. Too many people wait till a few days before the talk to do the “PowerPoint” portion and undercut themselves in having their presentation be a partner, rather than an afterthought. Steve Jobs is known for spending many hours on his presentations, both on the visuals and on the words, so that they appeared effortless in the delivery. So construct each slide with care to make sure it communicates efficiently and elegantly. Then, remember that the audience is there to hear what you have to say about the topic. Because, when it comes down to it, the presentation is not about the slides, it’s really about you and the experience you bring.

The slides are a partner to your message. The slides can either underline what you have to say or get in the way. Think again of Steve Jobs, a master of presentations who famously valued design—and thought like a designer. Most people remember him, the experience he created, and how he spoke about Apple’s products. The slides, which were beautifully done, added substance to what he was describing. The slides were his tools, but he was the show.